Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Back in the real world

So it's been a month since I have posted here. I really kinda dumped everyone and everything in my life - probably more as an escape because that is what I do to deal with things.

My surgery was May 3. I'm assuming it went well - I say this because my doctor didn't stick around to talk to me after. She spoke briefly to J, and told him 'no wonder she had so much pain, it was a mess in there' and confirmed that she clipped my tubes. My follow up is on June 14.

I cried after waking up. I knew it was going to be hard to have this surgery, and there I was, in bed, groggy, and minus a very important (albeit broken) part of me.

I was lucky that I got approved for four weeks off of work. The first two weeks were all about recuperating. I stayed home, on the couch. Well enough to get up and do my own thing after four days.

Having such surgery right before Mother's Day was kinda stupid. The day is hard enough already, and if I could have taken a drug that would have knocked me out for a week, I would have. I didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, do anything, think about my stupid tubes or my stupid ovaries or my f!@#ing endometriosis.

The next two weeks I was better. I stayed home, on the couch. But I was better emotionally. I just needed those weeks to grieve.

In the weeks I was off, I got two pregnancy announcements. One is a friend who has tried IVF four times. The other was a gloater.

I can't wait to give the first a huge big hug, and I am avoiding the second like the plague.

Have so much to say but will post tomorrow.