Friday, February 24, 2012

Day 3 of a brand new cycle

Well folks, here I am again. Day 3 of a new cycle. Third attempt.

I'm not going to lie. I am just going through the motions with this cycle. I know I should be positive, and you will all be great at supporting me and cheering me on, but I feel like I have nothing else to give of myself to this.

I am just getting over the flu (well maybe it was a bad cold) so I'm feeling pretty run down.

I was on the birth control pill for three months prior to this cycle. The good news is that it did calm my endo down, so if I don't get pregnant and finally throw down the towel with this whole getting pregnant thing, I will probably go back on it and at least have some relief with that.

My RE has me on 300 IU Gonal F, and 150 IU Menopur. Here's a shot of my meds for this cycle. The new company that took over my old one doesn't cover fertility meds. Cha-ching! $500 a day into my belly while stimming.

Got to get to work. Miss you ladies... :)


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Goddaughter and other births

Wow, I haven't updated in a while! SORRY! Warning, there is talk of infant loss in this post.

My goddaughter was born on July 6 at 4:14 PM. She is perfect. We finally got the call at around 5:30 PM and we immediately went to the hospital to meet her. Mom was tired and groggy after the surgery. We were the only family that they allowed to visit that night.

T is adorable. While Mom slept and Dad went to make a round of phone call and emails, I got to hold her for an hour just mesmerized by how tiny she is and how easy it was to hold her.

We have seen them about once a week since then. She is mostly on formula because my sister-in-law is having problems with her milk. My brother-in-law sends me the cutest photos every day of her. I am in complete love with her!

Almost a week later, my DEAREST friend S gave birth. S has had a rough time of it, having suffered from infertility for years. She is my rock. Baby J is here and I cannot be more thrilled to have him in my life too!

Finally... some sad news. My other 'rock' friend miscarried. This was her fourth and final IVF. As much as I am ecstatic for the two babies born in July breathing their first breath, I am shattered that my friend was not so lucky. They will not be trying again. Journey over.

Three babies born this month. I love them all.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The well

My husband's brother wife was due four days ago, and she just found out 2 days ago that the baby is breech! So she is going to go in for a C-section tomorrow.

Everything is fine except for her positioning, but I would still appreciate it if everyone can keep us in their thoughts!

Last night, I chatted with my sister-in-law about all things baby. After I got off the phone with her, I was talking to a dear-to-my-heart friend online and that's when the waterworks started.

I used to feel guilty about crying at another's happiness. I've since come to realize that these feelings are valid. I am simply expressing my deepest desire to have a child. Their successes, their babes are just a reminder to me of my own failures.

I hadn't had a good cry in a while. It felt good and I felt 100% better afterwards. I am hoping that I have gotten it out of my system, so when I meet my goddaughter for the first time tomorrow I will have only extreme tears of happiness and joy to be a part of her life.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Protocol for IVF #1

Went in for my Day 3 blood work and ultraound and FINALLY got my protocol!

- Marvelon (birth control pill) for 21 days
- Gonal F 300 IUI and Menopur 150 for at least 4 days starting Day 3 (Day 1 for the cycle will be July 27)

Very very excited. After 4 years of trying this is finally happening!

I also got notice of our first payment... $1800 for the Embryology Laboratory Fee. I think this is only for patients with some government funding. Since both my tubes were blocked, the government pays for a portion of the IVF. Every little bit helps...!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Day 1

So AF is finally here!

I can't believe I'm on the road to my first IVF cycle. Just called in for my Day 1.

I can't wait to get my protocol! I think it's bcp this month, but I will find out I suppose when I go in Day 3 (if that is in fact what they want me to do).

Friday, June 24, 2011


Happy to see so many visitors from ICLW! I love reading your comments. I didn't post yesterday so I am going to make it up for it today :)

One of the things that I have found with DHEA is my skin tingles. Specifically the bottom part of my face. I keep thinking maybe the hair follicles are starting to get restless. One of these days I'm going to scare myself by looking in the mirror! Of course, maybe this is just the result of looking at side effects online and then having phantom reactions. In any case, J has been notified :)

My wheatgrass shipment arrived yesterday in a cool looking container. It was a PAIN to take the frozen cubes out of the pack. The best I can describe it is that it came in a plastic bag ice cube tray. The directions say that you can just twist the bag a few times, and then while the bag is still closed grasp the two sides of the bag and pull and all the cubes of wheatgrass will separate nicely. Uhmm.... no. I ended up with wheatgrass juice all over the place. In the end I just cut open the bag and put it into another one. They did give a video on how to do this 'easily' so maybe I will watch it and see if that helps next time :)

The stuff tastes like grass. No big surprise - and it's not too bad. I am going to drink it one ounce of it every morning.

I am still waiting for AF. Day 30 today (usually I'm 28 or 29 days). I am also feeling a bit nauseous in the morning. Can you believe my friend (who I love dearly, she is now pregnant after her 4th try at IVF) asked me if I've peed on a stick yet? I've heard of miracle babies and all but I really don't think that is in my cards with getting my tubes tied last month! I am an optimist, but a realist :)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Welcome IComLeavWe'ers!

It's another IComLeavWe. This is my second time participating, and to be honest my heart wasn't really into it and I did a poor job.

Not this time! Now we have a plan, my surgery was done, and all I have to do is wait for AF to arrive. I really feel like a baby is within arms reach.

I ordered 200 frozen wheatgrass cubes from a local naturopath today. Final total = $202. I had every intention of growing and juicing it myself but it's just not going to happen. I am really hoping that this will help lower my FSH.

I also have been taking DHEA, a steroid. Fingers crossed that (a) it lowers my FSH and (b) I don't lose all my hair and get acne! Let me tell you, my libido is UP. Really good thing, because my husband is not complaining. That could change, of course if I turn into a balding, acne prone, deep voiced, hairy chinned wife.

The other downside is that I won't be able to compete in the Olympics. Another hope dashed!

Fingers crossed that they will do bloodwork and ultrasound on my Day 3 so I can see if my FSH has indeed gone down. I don't expect it to, but I'm really hoping to see a difference.