I am the infertile elephant in the room

The holidays are tough with my sister-in-law being pregnant. And I am PMSing so this is going to be a pity party post.

Of course I oohed and aahed at the sight of her beautiful 30-week bump, perfectly round. She's horrified she weighs so much now (which incidentally is my current weight). HORRIFIED.

When each guest arrived, the attention peaked to a fever pitch. Her due date is the same as your daughter's birthday? Uncanny. My plans for July 1st... I will be barren. Stripped of parts like some beaten old jalopy.

I am not a selfish person, but there is only so much I could take and I had to walk away from most of these conversations as they started.

Sometimes I would walk a few steps and join the older women on the other side of the kitchen and help them with dinner. Other times I'd cross the room to the living room and join the men watching the hockey game.

I hate standing out, and I felt like the infertile elephant in the room. I don't expect them to NOT have these conversations because it is a joyful time - I just couldn't be present for every one of them.

We have started to make plans for her shower. It will be a joint co-hosting gig between J's aunt and myself (as the loving godmother). The good thing is that as co-host I am sure I will be really busy running around, hopefully limiting the 'why aren't you pregnant yet' comments from the other women (many who I only see at family weddings).

I am already thinking about self-medicating. I haven't decided between acupuncture, alcohol, chamomile tea or Rescue Remedy!

Back relaxed and refreshed

I am back from my vacation. It was a wonderful time. I don't think I've walked so much in my life. Crepes and croissants for breakfast... Baguettes for lunch... Out to a nice restaurant for dinner. Yes, I totally threw out my non-gluten non-dairy diet out the window and you know what? No pain at all.

DH thinks it's because I don't exercise enough. This could be it. It was also the relatively calm point of my cycle.

I am going to exercise like crazy this next 1.5 weeks before my surgery. Treadmill and maybe a few runs outside with the dog.

Oh, and cross one thing off the bucket list. The picnic lunch was wonderful, and one of the best lunches we had while we were there.

My favourite place in the world

I'm going to Paris. On Saturday!

I booked it last week. The sudden trip was spurred on by a brunch at a French bistro (I almost pulled a Meg Ryan it was that good) AND my bucket list (which has two things on it that I can do in Paris).

J and I will have a picnic lunch in front of the Eiffel Tower, with wine, cheese, fresh baguettes and other tasty morsels. I am going to save the cooking course in France item for later on, because I'd rather take a more intensive course than a 2 hour course geared towards tourists. And besides, it means I -have- to go back, right?

I have been busy planning the trip. Trying to stick to the two things a day so we can spend the rest of the day wandering around... but it is hard not to try to pack as many things as possible.

The surgery is the farthest thing from my mind right now... for I am about to fly to my favourite place in the world with the man that I love!

Ironically, I once told people after my first trip to Paris 2 years ago that if I ever had to run away, they would find me in Paris.

On this trip, I am not running away... I am enjoying life. And where else to experience joie de vivre than in Paris.